2005-05-09 15:32:24
My story from this year's Mini-Marathon
(This blatantly off-topic post is a sequel to a similar one that I made approximately one year ago. In general, I confine my postings here to the topic of software and the business thereof. But as I said in my article on transparency, I occasionally like to include a personal glimpse.)
This weekend I once again walked the half-marathon in Indianapolis. My time was 3 hours, 17 minutes, 35 seconds, an average pace of 15:05 per mile.
This year I had a very interesting experience which was precipitated by two big mistakes:
- Mistake #1 -- In training for this race, I never did a walk longer than 4 miles.
- Mistake #2 -- I ran the first mile of the race.
My wife is a runner, but I'm not. Somehow we ended up assigned to the same starting corral, so I decided I would run with her "for just a little while" and then walk the remainder of the race as I had planned. In hindsight, this was Not A Smart Idea.
Running actually felt good, so I kept doing it all the way to the first mile marker where I finally slowed to a walk and let her go on ahead. But I was exhilarated! I'm pretty sure the last time I had run for a mile or more was over a decade ago. What a great way to begin my race! I began to think about how that first mile might help my overall time.
I walked mile 2 in about 15 minutes, a pretty fast pace for me, but it felt slow compared to mile 1. So for miles 3, 4 and 5 I increased my speed to just over 14 minutes per mile. At the 5-mile marker, my average pace was 14:07 per mile. That was when I decided to set a goal. My goal was to complete the race at an average pace of 15 minutes per mile or less. I figured I might need to mix in a little more running later, but the goal seemed very attainable.
But after that, every mile became more difficult. Mile 7 took me over 16 minutes, which means I lost ground against my goal. I decided to make up that ground by walking as fast I could for mile 8, which took place on the Indy 500 track. I felt like I was flying. I passed all kinds of people. I was so certain that I would be under 14 minutes for that mile, but it turned out to be 14:10. I considered grabbing one of the staff and telling them that some idiot put the mile marker in the wrong place, but that would have wasted precious time.
Mile 10 seemed eternal. By the time I reached the 10-mile marker, I was in pain. My overall average was up to 14:42, but I still thought I could make it. I'm a computer programmer. I spend my life on mental challenges. Sheer physical limitations are unfamiliar territory for me. I had only 3.1 miles to go. If necessary, I would just sprint the final stretch into the finish line.
Miles 11 and 12 were simply hellish. Each of them took me over 16 minutes, and I was in agony. People were passing me left and right. A woman who had to be older than my mother walked past me at top speed. I started feeling irrational. I was angry at everyone I could think of. I was certain that the entire situation was somebody else's fault.
As I reached the end of mile 12, somebody walked past me wearing a shirt that said, "Pain is temporary. Pride is forever." That sounded logical. I began to think like a programmer again, and I resolved that I was going to make my goal, no matter what. It was just a matter of sheer will, right? I had to complete the final 1.1 miles in a little over 16 minutes. I ignored the pain in my legs and increased my speed.
And that's when things got really bad.
In the final mile, they had markers every quarter-mile. With 3/4 mile to go, I was walking very slowly. I started realizing that I probably would not make my goal.
I was nearing the point of physical exhaustion, but I couldn't understand it. I had visited every single water and Gatorade station along the way. I had consumed one of those awful energy gels every 45 minutes. I wanted to finish strong. I've seen all those Nike commercials. Why couldn't I "Just Do It"?
With 1/2 mile to go, I felt like I had nothing left. I stopped to rest, for just a few seconds.
With 1/4 mile left, I could hear somebody on the PA system congratulating us for finishing 13.1 miles. I thought about how much I hated that man. My goal wasn't even an issue anymore. My new goal was to simply take each step without falling down onto the pavement. The finish line was in clear view, but I seriously doubted that I was going to finish at all.
But I did finish. I was 65 seconds over my extremely foolish goal, but I was just glad to complete the 13.1 miles. If the race had been 13.2 miles, I'm not sure I would have made it.
Every finisher gets a medal. That medal is now one of my most treasured possessions. I learned something about myself on Saturday. I'm not sure how to express what I learned, but it was something very new, something about my own limitations, limitations that I never have to face in the practice of building software.